Brgghh...Ith Amay-thin....Brgghh...Ith Amay-thin...

While these highlights are not the most current, they still represent my favorite week in sports so far this year. Roll the damn pitcher, doc:

the generator

So after filling out a long and deeply personal questionnaire, Sawyer will give you a nickname based on the answers you give him. Not sure about my christening as "Gizmo"...is it the way I wear my curls? I guess it's just hard to compare to names like "Freckles" or "Doc". It does work well in a sentence, though. As in, "Hey Gizmo, why don't you get outta my stuff?" Or, "Damn it Gizmo, I said no!" Or maybe, "Listen, I ain't goin' back to no damn beach, Gizmo!"

I don't know. You decide.

load me up

I think we can all agree that last night's "Bachelor" episode was the most intense to date. If you have not seen the episode from last night and intend to watch it I advise you to stop reading now.



Now, for those of us who honor our television commitments, let's get crackin' on last night's episode. The Casa de Bear favorite to win it all after last week's episode was Jillian. She definitely seemed to have the best "mature" personality and a great outlook on life. Thanks to some crafty editing by ABC, Jillian seemed like a safe bet up to that point. However, at the beginning of this episode, it was clear that Jillian was on shaky ground when Jason revealed that he had fun with Jillian but that he was trying to get the romantic aspect of the relationship to develop. The guys were all taken aback by that comment for sure. Jillian was clearly on thin ice.

After getting Jason's up-to-date opinion of Jillian, everyone was paying extra attention to Jillian's date to gauge the romantic interest which was difficult. Why? Well, let's face it, these dates in New Zealand are pretty awesome. 99% of the legwork is done for you. If you're the guy on this date, pretty much all you need is a sliver of compatibility for some form of a hookup to occur. With that being said, Jillian pulled out all of the stops and initiated a heavy hot tub hook up (a.k.a. a "HHTHU".) It's here that I'd like to give a shoutout to the "Bachelor" camerman who (a) definitely worked on "Red Shoe Diaries" at some point in his career (b) doesn't feel awkward being in a room watching two other people making out, while candles are lit, in a hot tub, where all you're hearing is a moan here and there and water sloshing around.


I'd love to know what the policy is regarding when a camerman must leave? Is it nudity? Does Jason have a codeword to the camerman so the guy knows when to split? (ex. "Jillian, you've got me as hot as a forest fire." (Camerman still rolling.) "I said, as a FOREST FIRE!" (Camerman slowly rises from below the hot tub surface and films a close up of Jason's pecs.) "Okay, Bill. Seriously? Dude, get out of here." "Jason come on man! This is great stuff here." "OUT!" "Okay okay." (He then quietly begins to submerge into the hot tub again when Jason notices and quickly pulls him out of the water. The camerman then disappointingly exits the room.))

"I think they're still doin' it, Chris."

"Excellent."

Hookup aside, Jillian and Jason did have a discussion about what they expect in their significant other. I think this is ultimately where Jillian slipped up. This is where she said she wants someone who is her "best friend." While I don't necessarily disagree with that notion, the "best friend" theory is one that is better off not elaborated on in my opinion. The reason for this, is because the "best friend" approach, while a mature and realistic idea, isn't really the sexiest idea. Jillian sought to back up her theory by referencing her grandparents who "palled around" and "played cards together." (I mean, she was one step away from saying, "My grandparents would share their dentures, and when they didn't have their dentures they would gum their mashed potatoes together." Yikes.) So now Jason is envisioning two things both of which are bad (i) a boring life (ii) Jillian being 90 years old (which isn't too hard to do because you can just reference her grandmother he met in Canada last week.) Jason's sex drive may as well have jumped off the cliff they were picnicking on. (The location also provided a nice sense of foreshadowing.)

"We got "best friends" for ya!"

Next up was Molly. Molly has been a threat since she stepped out of that limo on the first episode. Jason is clearly very attracted to Molly and Jason also seems to be very much attracted to her aggressive nature (ex. showing Jason her "talent" by the pool, spending the night in the tent, etc.)

Going in for the kill.

One problem Jason has been having is Molly is not an affectionate person. Jason then goes on to cite how her mom and dad didn't sit next to each other when he went to her home last week. In my opinion, Jason seems way too into observing the parents (we'll get into this more later.) My philosophy, you check out the mom and see how she's looking because her daughter probably will be in the same ballpark at her ag. It's the closest thing to a road map you're going to get at this point. If the mom checks out, great. That girl now gets a +1. If the mom looks like a wreck its not necessarily a (-1) but its definitely something that could be helpful in a "tiebreaker" situation.

Anyway, when pried about this, she confesses to Jason that she thinks she could be falling for Jason (a lot of vagueness there, but promising none the less.) That seemed to placate any major fears that Jason had at that point and, he once again, loved Molly's aggressiveness as she took it upon herself to ask him to spend then night rather than the other way around. I personally think this was kind of lame, but Jason acted like he had just seen "Ocean's 11" for the first time. (Oh, the SWAT team took the money out of the vault. Sneaky.) She seemed like a lock to move to the next round. But oh there's still Melissa.

Please don't be photoshopped. Please don't be photoshopped.

Finally, there is Melissa (aka Party Girl.) Jason can't seem to get over the fact that he did not meet her parents on the last date. So in order to get to the bottom of this he decides to interrogate Melissa "Larry King" style......in the hot tub. (Side note: Am I crazy to think that there is a need for a talkshow on television in a hot tub? I mean, when are you ever more comfortable on the one hand (warm water, etc.) and uncomfortable (showing some skin/body issues) on the other hand? Throw a drink or two in there and you've created the perfect storm for a television interview.))

Damn you, Larry! DAMN YOU!!!

While I do think that Jason does in fact care about not meeting Melissa's parents, I think this is more of an angle that the producers of the show wanted Jason to pursue. Of course you want to meet your partner's parents, but to act like its a deal breaker seems a little much to me. Let's face it, some people have a great family life. Some don't. Neither is indicative of whether that person is the one. Moreover, based on the information we learned from Melissa's friends last week it sounds like Melissa has dated a bunch of idiots so is it that shocking to think that her parents wouldn't be too jived to go on national television so they can meet her daughter's "new boyfriend" (COUGH.....whose also seeing three other women) who she "loves" very much. I can just see her dad going down the list of Melissa's last few boyfriends ("Okay we had the Starting High School QB, Frat Boy Drop Out, Bartender, Motorcycle Enthusiast, Reality Show Guy....yeah, I think we're going to skip the meet and greet with this Reality Show Guy.")

"I really love your daughter, sir. Which one is she again?"

On this date, Melissa went for broke. She flat out told Jason that she is in love with him, and Jason had to have been pleased by that revelation. Melissa also, as does every girl at this point in the game, spent the night with Jason. Strong date for Melissa.

Finally, the rose ceremony came and Jillian was given the boot. It was sad to see Jillian go, because Casa de Bear felt like personality wise she was on the same page as Jason. They always seemed to have very deep, intelligent conversations. Goodbye, Jillian. You will be missed.

This episode, Jeff competed head-to-head with Jason thanks to Tivo. (For every question posed to Jason, we would pause the show to allow Jeff to answer, then Jason and see who was coming out with a better grade in our opinion.) Here's a sample:

FAVORITE FOOD: Jason - Pizza, Jeff - Chicken Fingers
FAVORITE PLACE: Jason - Greece, Jeff - Disneyworld
FAVORITE TIME: Jason - Now, Jeff - Now

Disneyworld, huh?

"This Jeff guy seems pretty gnarly."

Well, it looks like Jeff would have also beat out Jason last year, but this year it's a whole new ballgame. The future of this season seems pretty obvious now that Jillian is gone. Clearly, he's not looking for the "best friend" like Jillian. Jason has clearly shown that he wanted to go younger (both being 25 or younger if I'm not mistaken.) In addition, he definitely got rid of the most independent person of the three that remained (with Molly being second.) So what does this say about what Jason is looking for at this point?

Believe it.

After spending about five seconds crunching the data I have come to the conclusion that Melissa will be the last girl standing. First, Jillian's ousting says that he isn't so concerned about the intellectual connection with whoever he chooses (no offense to Molly or Melissa intended.) Clearly, the most important thing to him is the emotional connection: he was concerned about the romantic side of his relationship with Jillian and he criticized Molly for not being affectionate enough. Melissa is the only one who provided him zero doubt about how she felt for him. Also, don't underestimate how important this is because the last season he let it all out there with DeAnna and he ended up looking like a fool.

Last season's finale as envisioned in Jason's head.

Reality.

Chris revels in Jason's sorrow / plans secret rendezvous with DeAnna.

I would be shocked if he would let himself commit to anyone without 100% certainty that his feeling will be reciprocated.

Second, it's no secret that one of Jason's biggest concerns is Ty. Melissa has already stated to Jason on their beach date that she wants to become a first grade teacher where she will spend her summer "playing with her kids." I don't think its a stretch to say that she is the better with kids than Molly based on what we've seen. Moreover, based on the preview of next episode, it doesn't look like Ty was taking too much of a liking to Molly. And if Molly thinks her "I won't date anyone that my parents don't like" is strict, I imagine Jason's "Ty better love your ass" policy is even more strict.

Third, Jason doesn't seem like he's looking for the 21st Century Woman (Molly.) Molly has a strong, independent personality that I'm not sure Jason can handle. Molly is the type who doesn't seem to need a boyfriend in order to validate her self worth (no offense, Melissa.) I could definitely see Jason being a bit concerned that Molly could split because she has her own things to accomplish. In addition, Jason already has a family of his own that he wants someone to fit in with. Melissa seems more like the type who would be more willing to take on a "motherly" role with Ty and the family and be completely involved in that lifestyle.

Finally, there is the twist in this season's show that brings back the ex - DeAnna. She's realized she's made a mistake and now is asking Jason to take her back. This brings into play the psyche of Jason. This is the same woman who he put it all out there for last season only to be airmailed back to Seattle before one tear hit the ground. I don't think DeAnna will have a chance because Melissa is a younger, hotter, less annoying version of DeAnna. That's a tough triple threat to overcome and I don't think she will. On top of that, there will be a small part of Jason that won't be able to pass up the opportunity to get even with DeAnna for the embarrassment he had to deal with from last season. If he sends her packing she's now the one whose looking really desperate. It's for this last reason that even if Jason picks Molly over Melissa, I still think DeAnna is going to look like a fool.

Jason is going throwback. He wants a "Mad Men" Wife. Someone who looks good on your arm, is completely dependent on you, will be a good mother to your children. You heard it here first.

shahnon had a nightmare

We're a couple episodes deep into the new season of LOST. Hatches have been unearthed and blown to pieces, The Others have come and gone, we've looked in the future with the Oceanic 6, and now the island seems to have been dislodged from time, itself, yet I just keep coming back to these two...

momma gowne

A poem...for our beloved 'Momma'

Momma.
You are
The most amazing person we've ever met, Momma.
And I think we are all better people because of meeting you here, Momma.
Momma,
You are a beautiful person, Momma,
Outside and In.
We're so glad to have met you, Momma.

Always the pro

it's all gone

First up is so important that I've been counting down the minutes for weeks. That is? The end of this organic food that the guys bought me. Being the outdoors type myself, I'm all about the green movement. However, I refuse, I REFUSE to eat cardboard. Sorry folks. I'm not a saint. It wasn't only that this food was bad. It also had a quite awful effect on my body - it just couldn't handle this food. Long story short, my body wasn't functioning properly. Now that I'm on the Science Diet I'm hoping to start my way on the Recovery Train.


Jeff and Everette watched "It's All Gone Pete Tong" last night which was quite disturbing - at least from my perspective. It pretty much was about a DJ who parties so hard that he becomes deaf and how he overcomes it to become a sensational DJ.


This movie definitely was a stretch since there has been no scientific evidence up to this point that proves that partying has negative effects on your body. Have I actively sought out this information? No. But I also haven't sought out a unicorn and I'm pretty damn sure they don't exist either.


This honestly was the toughest unicorn I could find. Is there any other animal with a horn that has been so emasculated? I guess deer...........whatever. Moving on.

I guess the out of the ordinary news is that some guy named, Ty, is here for the weekend. I personally would have appreciated a little heads up that the casa would be serving four this weekend, and by a heads up I don't mean "walk in the door at midnight with a stranger in tow." And no I'm not bitter that he got to sleep on the couch that I'm still banned from. I mean why should I feel entitled to the third best sleeping position in the house? Maybe because I live here.

Oh! I forgot. On a serious note PLEASE keep your eyes open for this dangerous vermin. (Thanks videogum)

get a little momma love

I must admit, I'm beginning to open up to the possibility that Jason is the best Bachelor ever.

just give me da ball

Everyone wants to know what Barrack is gonna do in his first "100 Days"...What's Zooey doing in her new film "500 Days of Summer"? Check out the trailer, it looks pretty good.

And a new film "The Informers" based on a Bret Easton Ellis novel.

Sorry for spilling the trash boys. :)

van rundy

Apparently, these are the kind of moments that are worthy of rewind in this household.

Nothing like a plate full of french fries (half regular and half sweet potato) and an unlimited supply of ketchup to finish the week strong.

Catan Final

Daniel - 10
Everette - 6
Jeff - 5

the inner human in all of us

Good news--Today I was able to keep pace with my own little personal challenge that, in an effort to stay informed, I would watch 8 straight hours of cable news 5 days a week. Did you hear Bradford's coming back?

Lately, in an effort to truly understand me, Daniel has been reading some silly book about how the brain works. And from what I can tell, it's teaching him some pretty strange methods of experimentation, because he is constantly pulling me near him, sitting me down and staring deep into my eyes. Eventually, he'll start whimpering and whispering things like, "I can see the person you have trapped inside you!"

And in other random news, I have been going through some recent pictures of mine, thought I'd share. Just a few faves layed over a track from my buddy, Animal.



That is so soothing to me...


Catan results:

Everette - 10
Daniel - 7
Jeff - 7



Dylan's Greatest Hits on vinyl and a little bit of Argentinian Cab struck just the right tone for the evening.

those thilly ole thettlers

Everette, Daniel, and Jeff love to play this board game "The Settlers of Catan".  It's a little hard to explain, but the basic premise is to build a community with a combination of settlements, cities, and roads.  The more you build, the more points you get.  First one to 10 points wins.

I never play, but I watch them and it's kind of silly how much they enjoy it.  Everette gets super competitive, Jeff is constantly referred to as a "weasel", and Daniel always ends up talking with a lisp...I know, ith weird.  Daniel won the first season with 9 wins, Jeff and Ev tied for second with 8 wins.  Season 2 has been the "Sophomore Slump" for Danny with only 1 win to Jeff and Ev's 5.

They always listen to cool music while playing.  Tonight it was the following:

Final Fantasy - "Spectrum, 14th Century"

Followed by Ghosts - "The Entire City was Silent"

Both really good albums.  Zach Condon of Beirut is on this Final Fantasy album.  If you like him, you'll dig this.  Followed by Ghosts is instrumental.  Experimental Rock, if you will.  

After the game Jeff and Danny had their post game meal.  Good ole "Jelly Toatht"

Final Score:

Jeff - 10

Ev - 9

Dan - 7

damnit.

Ever since Oklahoma lost in the BCS Championship last Thursday, there's been a strange vibe around the house. Yesterday evening they seemed to have pretty much gotten over the loss. So, now that we're back to normal I thought I'd take this time to start this.

Jeff and Everette flew to Miami last week to go to the BCS National Championship game between Oklahoma and Florida. Luckily, Daniel stayed here with me so I wasn't alone all weekend. Although, Daniel was so wrecked by the end of the football game that I, honestly took him for a walk to the beach. He was very insistent about running through the sand which was fun for awhile, but come on, dude. Take American Gladiators, put it on the beach at night, then splice that with an episode of Bum Fights and that's pretty much what I was looking at.

The guys are over the Oklahoma loss, but not completely. Whatever disappointment and anger they felt is still lingering and they're taking it out on me. Take this couch. (I'll insert the picture tomorrow.) Since Moment A, there has been no problem with the fact that I like to nap there and, sometimes, sleep there for the evening. First few months, quite honestly, I think it was the highlight of their day to see me on that thing. Now, all of the sudden, I'm trashing the couch and I need to stay off it.

So, I'm a bit confused by this, but, hey, I'm chill so I let it slide off my back. I decide to start focusing my rest time to a chair by the computer in the front entryway. It's a bit small but it's a comfortable chair nonetheless. This is an important time to mention that the total amount of sit time that this chair has logged in this house is under forty-five minutes, folks. This thing is collecting dust. No problem, right? Of course not. How could I forget, their team lost last weekend so that's somehow my cross to bear. So, I'm kicked off of another piece of furniture. Thanks, guys. I appreciate the courtesy.

"It's only two pieces of furniture," you say. Well, my friend, this is where the last chapter is read. It's ALL of the furniture. Every piece. "It can't be all of the furniture. You're overreacting," you say. Well, how would you react if you found coffee tables, laundry baskets, and trash cans strategically placed on each piece of furniture to prevent me from getting on one of them? Not too subtle are they?

I blame it on the holiday break. This is really their first week when they're getting their normal routine back in order. Hopefully, they can loosen the reins a little bit.