Nightmare Medicine

I think we can all agree that last night's "Bachelor" episode was the most intense to date. If you have not seen the episode from last night and intend to watch it I advise you to stop reading now.

Now, for those of us who honor our television commitments, let's get crackin' on last night's episode. The Casa de Bear favorite to win it all after last week's episode was Jillian. She definitely seemed to have the best "mature" personality and a great outlook on life. Thanks to some crafty editing by ABC, Jillian seemed like a safe bet up to that point. However, at the beginning of this episode, it was clear that Jillian was on shaky ground when Jason revealed that he had fun with Jillian but that he was trying to get the romantic aspect of the relationship to develop. The guys were all taken aback by that comment for sure. Jillian was clearly on thin ice.

After getting Jason's up-to-date opinion of Jillian, everyone was paying extra attention to Jillian's date to gauge the romantic interest which was difficult. Why? Well, let's face it, these dates in New Zealand are pretty awesome. 99% of the legwork is done for you. If you're the guy on this date, pretty much all you need is a sliver of compatibility for some form of a hookup to occur. With that being said, Jillian pulled out all of the stops and initiated a heavy hot tub hook up (a.k.a. a "HHTHU".) It's here that I'd like to give a shoutout to the "Bachelor" camerman who (a) definitely worked on "Red Shoe Diaries" at some point in his career (b) doesn't feel awkward being in a room watching two other people making out, while candles are lit, in a hot tub, where all you're hearing is a moan here and there and water sloshing around.

I'd love to know what the policy is regarding when a camerman must leave? Is it nudity? Does Jason have a codeword to the camerman so the guy knows when to split? (ex. "Jillian, you've got me as hot as a forest fire." (Camerman still rolling.) "I said, as a FOREST FIRE!" (Camerman slowly rises from below the hot tub surface and films a close up of Jason's pecs.) "Okay, Bill. Seriously? Dude, get out of here." "Jason come on man! This is great stuff here." "OUT!" "Okay okay." (He then quietly begins to submerge into the hot tub again when Jason notices and quickly pulls him out of the water. The camerman then disappointingly exits the room.))

"I think they're still doin' it, Chris."

"Excellent."

Hookup aside, Jillian and Jason did have a discussion about what they expect in their significant other. I think this is ultimately where Jillian slipped up. This is where she said she wants someone who is her "best friend." While I don't necessarily disagree with that notion, the "best friend" theory is one that is better off not elaborated on in my opinion. The reason for this, is because the "best friend" approach, while a mature and realistic idea, isn't really the sexiest idea. Jillian sought to back up her theory by referencing her grandparents who "palled around" and "played cards together." (I mean, she was one step away from saying, "My grandparents would share their dentures, and when they didn't have their dentures they would gum their mashed potatoes together." Yikes.) So now Jason is envisioning two things both of which are bad (i) a boring life (ii) Jillian being 90 years old (which isn't too hard to do because you can just reference her grandmother he met in Canada last week.) Jason's sex drive may as well have jumped off the cliff they were picnicking on. (The location also provided a nice sense of foreshadowing.)

"We got "best friends" for ya!"

Next up was Molly. Molly has been a threat since she stepped out of that limo on the first episode. Jason is clearly very attracted to Molly and Jason also seems to be very much attracted to her aggressive nature (ex. showing Jason her "talent" by the pool, spending the night in the tent, etc.)

Going in for the kill.

One problem Jason has been having is Molly is not an affectionate person. Jason then goes on to cite how her mom and dad didn't sit next to each other when he went to her home last week. In my opinion, Jason seems way too into observing the parents (we'll get into this more later.) My philosophy, you check out the mom and see how she's looking because her daughter probably will be in the same ballpark at her ag. It's the closest thing to a road map you're going to get at this point. If the mom checks out, great. That girl now gets a +1. If the mom looks like a wreck its not necessarily a (-1) but its definitely something that could be helpful in a "tiebreaker" situation.

Anyway, when pried about this, she confesses to Jason that she thinks she could be falling for Jason (a lot of vagueness there, but promising none the less.) That seemed to placate any major fears that Jason had at that point and, he once again, loved Molly's aggressiveness as she took it upon herself to ask him to spend then night rather than the other way around. I personally think this was kind of lame, but Jason acted like he had just seen "Ocean's 11" for the first time. (Oh, the SWAT team took the money out of the vault. Sneaky.) She seemed like a lock to move to the next round. But oh there's still Melissa.

Please don't be photoshopped. Please don't be photoshopped.

Finally, there is Melissa (aka Party Girl.) Jason can't seem to get over the fact that he did not meet her parents on the last date. So in order to get to the bottom of this he decides to interrogate Melissa "Larry King" style......in the hot tub. (Side note: Am I crazy to think that there is a need for a talkshow on television in a hot tub? I mean, when are you ever more comfortable on the one hand (warm water, etc.) and uncomfortable (showing some skin/body issues) on the other hand? Throw a drink or two in there and you've created the perfect storm for a television interview.))

Damn you, Larry! DAMN YOU!!!

While I do think that Jason does in fact care about not meeting Melissa's parents, I think this is more of an angle that the producers of the show wanted Jason to pursue. Of course you want to meet your partner's parents, but to act like its a deal breaker seems a little much to me. Let's face it, some people have a great family life. Some don't. Neither is indicative of whether that person is the one. Moreover, based on the information we learned from Melissa's friends last week it sounds like Melissa has dated a bunch of idiots so is it that shocking to think that her parents wouldn't be too jived to go on national television so they can meet her daughter's "new boyfriend" (COUGH.....whose also seeing three other women) who she "loves" very much. I can just see her dad going down the list of Melissa's last few boyfriends ("Okay we had the Starting High School QB, Frat Boy Drop Out, Bartender, Motorcycle Enthusiast, Reality Show Guy....yeah, I think we're going to skip the meet and greet with this Reality Show Guy.")

"I really love your daughter, sir. Which one is she again?"

On this date, Melissa went for broke. She flat out told Jason that she is in love with him, and Jason had to have been pleased by that revelation. Melissa also, as does every girl at this point in the game, spent the night with Jason. Strong date for Melissa.

Finally, the rose ceremony came and Jillian was given the boot. It was sad to see Jillian go, because Casa de Bear felt like personality wise she was on the same page as Jason. They always seemed to have very deep, intelligent conversations. Goodbye, Jillian. You will be missed.

This episode, Jeff competed head-to-head with Jason thanks to Tivo. (For every question posed to Jason, we would pause the show to allow Jeff to answer, then Jason and see who was coming out with a better grade in our opinion.) Here's a sample:

FAVORITE FOOD: Jason - Pizza, Jeff - Chicken Fingers
FAVORITE PLACE: Jason - Greece, Jeff - Disneyworld
FAVORITE TIME: Jason - Now, Jeff - Now

Disneyworld, huh?

"This Jeff guy seems pretty gnarly."

Well, it looks like Jeff would have also beat out Jason last year, but this year it's a whole new ballgame. The future of this season seems pretty obvious now that Jillian is gone. Clearly, he's not looking for the "best friend" like Jillian. Jason has clearly shown that he wanted to go younger (both being 25 or younger if I'm not mistaken.) In addition, he definitely got rid of the most independent person of the three that remained (with Molly being second.) So what does this say about what Jason is looking for at this point?

Believe it.

After spending about five seconds crunching the data I have come to the conclusion that Melissa will be the last girl standing. First, Jillian's ousting says that he isn't so concerned about the intellectual connection with whoever he chooses (no offense to Molly or Melissa intended.) Clearly, the most important thing to him is the emotional connection: he was concerned about the romantic side of his relationship with Jillian and he criticized Molly for not being affectionate enough. Melissa is the only one who provided him zero doubt about how she felt for him. Also, don't underestimate how important this is because the last season he let it all out there with DeAnna and he ended up looking like a fool.

Last season's finale as envisioned in Jason's head.

Reality.

Chris revels in Jason's sorrow / plans secret rendezvous with DeAnna.

I would be shocked if he would let himself commit to anyone without 100% certainty that his feeling will be reciprocated.

Second, it's no secret that one of Jason's biggest concerns is Ty. Melissa has already stated to Jason on their beach date that she wants to become a first grade teacher where she will spend her summer "playing with her kids." I don't think its a stretch to say that she is the better with kids than Molly based on what we've seen. Moreover, based on the preview of next episode, it doesn't look like Ty was taking too much of a liking to Molly. And if Molly thinks her "I won't date anyone that my parents don't like" is strict, I imagine Jason's "Ty better love your ass" policy is even more strict.

Third, Jason doesn't seem like he's looking for the 21st Century Woman (Molly.) Molly has a strong, independent personality that I'm not sure Jason can handle. Molly is the type who doesn't seem to need a boyfriend in order to validate her self worth (no offense, Melissa.) I could definitely see Jason being a bit concerned that Molly could split because she has her own things to accomplish. In addition, Jason already has a family of his own that he wants someone to fit in with. Melissa seems more like the type who would be more willing to take on a "motherly" role with Ty and the family and be completely involved in that lifestyle.

Finally, there is the twist in this season's show that brings back the ex - DeAnna. She's realized she's made a mistake and now is asking Jason to take her back. This brings into play the psyche of Jason. This is the same woman who he put it all out there for last season only to be airmailed back to Seattle before one tear hit the ground. I don't think DeAnna will have a chance because Melissa is a younger, hotter, less annoying version of DeAnna. That's a tough triple threat to overcome and I don't think she will. On top of that, there will be a small part of Jason that won't be able to pass up the opportunity to get even with DeAnna for the embarrassment he had to deal with from last season. If he sends her packing she's now the one whose looking really desperate. It's for this last reason that even if Jason picks Molly over Melissa, I still think DeAnna is going to look like a fool.

Jason is going throwback. He wants a "Mad Men" Wife. Someone who looks good on your arm, is completely dependent on you, will be a good mother to your children. You heard it here first.